Tinder? Bumble? Happn? The millennial dating world has been secluded to these digital dating platforms; full of swiping left and right, ‘ghosting’ and unsolicited dick-pics.
We are now reliant on these apps to help us find relationships, dates and sex; giving our generation a platform to judge each other through a few of our best, handpicked filtered pictures, and a three word bio that states we like dogs, the gym and girls with tattoos.
Alongside these apps come a bunch of brand new dating behaviours, and let me tell you, they’re not so great…
- We use fluffy terms such as ‘ghosting’ and ‘bread crumbing’ to mask the unethical and immoral way we treat people we’re just not that into but don’t have the balls to say.
If you’ve been on the dating scene in the past two to three years then you’ve probably been ghosted once or twenty times, and actually you’ve probably done your fair share of ghosting too. Even if you do try to tell yourself that ‘it’s fine because we only went on, like, three dates right?’. Rather than giving the person a reason we just…ignore them; the texts become less frequent, the vibe starts getting weird and the snapchats completely stop – tragic.
- It’s a competition – lets see who cares the least.
Complementing on someones physical appearance is great but actually talking about your feelings is a big NOPE. This is a game, and emotions are messy and a massive turn off apparently. So it’s all about which one of you can win at acting like you don’t care for the other, even if you are really into them.
- Sex at the swipe of a screen.
It’s readily available and we don’t have to work for it at all. If you’re feeling the ‘need’ you could literally get ‘it’ within the swipe of a finger and a five minute Uber ride. This completely takes the excitement away from hooking up with someone; the back and forth flirting, getting to know each other (even if it is for a night or two). We’ve become completely lazy and sex almost never leads to a relationship. A new study actually shows that us millennials are having less sex, could this be because we simply can’t be bothered to work for it?
- Forever stuck in limbo.
Even if sex does lead to something more or we manage to get to date seven without being ghosted, we eventually find ourselves stuck in the grey area. Neither of you really knows what’s going on but it’s also not really cool to ask; this causes confusion which then leads to arguments or parting ways. It’s all because most of us aren’t sure about our intentions and a lot of us lie about them just for a temporary ego-boost when we’re feeling shit about ourselves.
- There are so many choices.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea – or on these dating apps rather, sounds like a good thing right? Not really. We’re very aware of the amount of options we have out there to find ‘the one’ or just somebody to have fun with, therefore we refuse to settle incase somebody slightly better might comes along. There’s always someone out there who’s better looking, has a more interesting job, more money, more life experience (or whatever it is that you’re looking for).
I’m very aware that this is a pretty negative post, however, these dating behaviours our generation have adopted need to change and I think that most of us don’t realise how we’re treating each other. So lets make a pact to be more mindful of these dating trends we’re responsible for creating and try to be better, treat each other better, date better.